Time flies when you're having fun or not

But we are definitely having fun!
Today is ONE month since Gotcha Day-the day we met Ai-Le Kate for the first time. It's hard to believe how quickly time passes. I think about time when I'm tucking the boys in at night and I know I will blink a few times and Ai-Le will be right where the boys are today.
Well,  I'm definitely having issues with time management. I've always done well with that at work, however, at home I have a difficult time prioritizing. I feel most things should be done now and because I'm an all or nothing kind of girl- I usually get very little done or I get everything done while wearing my martyr badge! I'd like to retire the badge before the Girl Scouts requires me to pin it to my sash. Ok. Enough of that.
A few days ago, Ai-Le Kate learned the word No. Everything she says is so cute, at least the way she says things. I'm sure that opinion will change! But for now, I cannot wait for her to start talking. I know it frustrates her to have such a difficult time communicating. I just can't wait till she can tell me what she's thinking-once again-I know I won't feel that way very long after she starts talking non stop.  Luke is beginning to warm up to Ai-Le which in turns means she is warming up to him. We are still trying to figure out what she is thinking and to no avail. If I'm home with her, she shuns Steve when he comes home and vice versa. She "talks" about the boys all day yet is standoffish when they come home from school. She eventually warms up but it's almost as if she is mad at you if you have been away from the house all day. 
Ai-Le met her uncle Logan and aunt Kelsey for the first time this weekend. We stayed outside most of the day Saturday. We didn't try taking her to church this week and probably won't attempt it again for a while. Steve stayed home with her which was good bc he doesn't get any one on one time during the week.
We celebrated one month with Ai-Le with a trip to the pediatrician for blood work. Lots of blood work. 4-10cc syringes to be exact. She screamed hysterically but remained still! I think she did great. Much better than I anticipated. After coming home to calm down, we went to the library and picked up a Humphrey for lunch! Another sweet friend is bringing dinner tonight so I can give my full attention to her the remainder of the day, oh and to the boys and swim practice and homework and laundry and... To say the meals have been a help is an understatement. We have been blessed with some yummy food and it has definitely made this time much easier!
This past month has been amazing! I'm tired and hormonal and a little emotional but all those things happen on any normal day. However, I'm also in awe, and grateful, and happy, and thankful for this opportunity to be a part of her life. I hope we do not disappoint her!

 She is already conditioned to saying a blessing before we eat. We put one of Luke's tshirts on her instead of a bib and now as soon as we put the shirt on, she's ready to pray!

Even if we just sit down to eat dessert. Of course I thank God for dessert most of all!

Loves Nana

Sharing her candy with Kelsey

The next three are some of my favorites

Airport Homecoming

Finally sat down today with the flash drive Kim Jones gave me of our homecoming pics. She was gracious enough to play "photographer" and she did a great job. I am in tears, looking at and reliving those moments that occurred just two weeks ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry but I'm still thinking of the right words to say...

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be...

So, Allison sent me this video and evidently it's all over FB, but I love it! If you have been around us since we returned home, you know we probably haven't been exactly politically correct about the adoption. We are still learning what to say and not to say. Trust me, we do not take this responsibility lightly, HOWEVER, we CAN make light of circumstances and situations that can be difficult and uncertain. We have spent a small amount of time around adoptive families, we were required to watch-I think 12 hours worth of videos on adoption, I've read dozens of books on adoption over the last year and a half. Nothing can truly prepare you and I think we aren't even at the hard part yet. If you know me, you know I am not a good speaker. I don't just mean a good public speaker- a good speaker in general. I get tongue tied, I say the wrong words with the wrong meaning or flat out just don't speak at all for fear of sounding like a stuttering idiot. I actually do believe I have some form of stuttering. If a diagnosis doesn't already exist, I'm going to discover it, patent it, and buy a beach house! I truly believe there is a serious disconnect between my brain and my mouth most of the time. Steve says he doesn't understand how there could be such a difference bt my written word and spoken word. I'll agree with him. Not that there is anything poetic about my blogs-I'm just glad,like my scrapbooking, I will have a permanent record of how Ai-Le came into our lives.
All that said, please never fear saying the wrong thing or having said the wrong thing about her or us or adoption. If you know me well I'm sure I've said the wrong thing to you a time or twelve! I love to talk about adoption. I love to talk about Ai-Le Kate!
This video gives a comical look at what not to say!

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/04/if-you-wouldnt-say-it-about-boob-job.html?m=1







Wrightpartyof5@bellsouth.net

I have an opinion and I know how to use it!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.  Ephesians  3:20
The last several days have flown by. I can not believe we have already been home almost two weeks! We have had a lot of major activity over the last few days. The boys have been home, daddy has been home, and we have had visits from lots of family and friends. Steve's sisters and their families came for a visit. Ai-Le is slow to warm up, but eventually she does in her own terms. Nap time has not been fun but she is still sleeping all night and I've always said sleep covers a multitude of sins. Doesn't the bible say that? Maybe it says love-either way-I say that and I know if Steve and I can sleep through the night, the day will be much better for everyone. We actually went to church for Easter-all of us-early service-and were there on time! Can I get a hallelujah!?!?! Seriously, not too bad for one week home. I've missed corporate worship and was ready to get back. Can I just tell you-the music was amazing(even from outside the worship center). I guess the music was too loud for her so we left and toured the outside parameter of the church. We stopped by B group to say hey. Not just to show her off- but I know people wanted to meet the part of our family they have been praying over for a year and a half. I know it's amazing when we get to see the results-and positive results at that-of our prayers. We took Ai-Le Kate to the purple park so the boys could stay for B group and then we met dad at El Compadre for our Easter lunch! After a brief nap we headed to some friends for some play time. I was actually able to sit down and breathe a little while she played. Ai-Le Kate was great-Will and Luke were the ones having a meltdown. Go figure! I've noticed and I may have said it before;she asks for food when we are in the car-she's bored or when she is anxious. I think most of the anxiety is dissipating and frustration is taking its place. She will grab my hand and whine, trying to make me understand what she wants or needs. I run through the list of words-English words-I know she can say hoping she will hear the word and recall its meaning. For my own benefit these are some of the words she can and/or will say: mommy, yummy which sounds a lot like mommy, daddy, ge-ge, Will, ook is Luke, Nana, Papaw, yellow-as of today, blue, Amen.yay, uh-oh, bye-bye, and my favorite bc of the way she says it-hello. I know there are more words, she said buckles after looking at Logan and Kelsey's pic with their dog Buckles-did I mention she is freakishly afraid of dogs, not sure why. I know several kiddos with a fear of dogs without any hx or experience with dogs so I'm not jumping to any conclusions.
I decided to try taking her to bible study with me Wednesday. Allison had her village of Little People out for Ai-Le to play with. Can I tell you, she didn't make a sound for an hour and a half. The only reason we knew she was there was because of all the animal sounds the toys were making. After bible study, we went to visit Nana and ventured to Counter Culture for a Humphrey. Needless to say, she loved it! I had to fight her for a bite!
Luke is warming up to her a bit more. Will is still smitten with her. Ai-Le wants them around and "talks about them" all day,however, I think she still isn't quite sure what there role is yet.
She is still loving her shoes. Sometimes she changes three times a day. She is letting me-letting me-ha-she's not even three yet- pick out her outfits, so I'm not going to battle over shoes! Luke had an opinion early on-he simply wanted boy and comfort! Will continues to let me dress him-not really but you know what I mean. Hopefully, her opinions will be limited to her shoes!
Ai-Le Kate thinks she is the star of the show but not just my show-everyone elses as well. She waves like she is on parade and tells everyone bye-bye and blows kisses to anyone and everyone. I had to have a heart to heart with her to help her understand the implications of handing out love so freely- Ha! especially when I have to beg and plead to get a kiss from her! Of course, just now as I'm writing this I realize- the meanings of her name-love and joy! Why do I try to limit God by thinking Ai-Le Kate can't make a difference until she gets older! I guess I'll let her blow kisses to whomever she pleases-even if it's the security guard at the library!

Once again, this entry is a combination of several days of writing. I'm still learning how to juggle life as a party of five! Now that might need to be my new email address!

Trying to copy uncle Alan

Dying eggs!

She couldn't wait,

Everything is new and exciting!

This was the best I could get

Eating and loving Mexican food

1st Humphrey

                                                

All mine-Get your own!

What becomes of the brokenhearted?

I can not help everything reminds me of a song-even a song from the 70s.
I had my first good cry today after being home. I consider that a victory bc I know after the last two babies I barely made it a few days. I received an email from the foster family who took care of Ai-Le the last year of her life. I had received one in Ch*na however I think I was too much in shock to decipher what I was reading. The home is called Morning Star. They have a home in Be*jing and a home in Uganda. They are an American/Christian couple who were both adopted,have two adopted daughters,and have given their lives to help care for orphans. Their story is amazing.
If you look at their blog, it contains pics of Ai-Le Kate-under the name of "Hannah" her internet name.  http://www.morningstarproject.org/
I was moved to tears after reading the blog as well as the latest email from her. I know
Ai-Le Kate was loved and would not have thrived without the care they provided. I'm so thankful to be in contact with them.

Once again, the hardest thing-aside from communication barriers-is sleep time but not in the way you would think. The last several days we napped in her big girl bed. She fought me but finally fell asleep. So wednesday night I tried to lay her in her pack n play and she went hysterical. She wanted to stay in her bed. She grabbed her blanket and laid down and fell asleep. Then I wondered if I should leave her there. Some sweet friends bought us rails for the bed and had them waiting for us when we got home, however, it's been a while since I've had a toddler and I wasn't sure if she would be ok there all night. Well, evidently (at least for the last few nights anyway) she was fine. She slept from 8-7. Last night she went to bed without a tear! She tossed and turned and flipped and flopped but she eventually fell asleep-woke up at 4:30-had a little water-and went back to sleep till 7:30. So we said good-bye and packed up the pack n play. After breakfast she was ready to head out. She went and grabbed her new favorite shoes and whined until I got her dressed. As much as she dislikes wearing a bow-she even grabbed her bow bc she knew I would put one in before we headed out. I hadn't even finished my coffee yet! Oh well. So, yesterday at nap time-she fought me hard. She cried and screamed for a good while. It was that sad, "my heart is broken" cry. She kept pointing to the door and then she started pushing on me. She wanted me to leave, so I did. She covered herself with her blanket and went to sleep. I'm sure many think that's a good sign. I'm just not sure. Maybe she was mad at me bc I was forcing her to take a nap. Maybe it's bc I took her away from the only family she knew and loved.  Maybe she just never had anyone want to cuddle with her and doesn't understand.  Maybe her heart IS broken. Probably a combination.
I know she will never remember this age. I know she will never remember what she had or didn't have or what she has been through. HOWEVER, her life WILL be different bc of it. Imagine how different our other children would be if they were never rocked to sleep, or sang to, or read to, or cuddled and kissed, or prayed over the first- almost 3 years of their lives. How different would they be as 5 year olds, 10 year olds, teenagers, or even adults? We can change her future but her past is her past. Only God can change how she feels about it. The bible says God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  My prayer is that He will do that even before she knows she needs it.

Here are more pics. Not too many smiles but, nevertheless, sweet. She's so fast it's hard to get a good smiley pic.

She knows what to do

She's a safety girl-proud NRA member

Noodles and nuggets

Perfect Chick fil A combo

Got these pics from age 2

Loves her picnic basket

Loves the jogging stroller- in short intervals

Bye-bye